Hmm…

Well, I’m sitting here in tears and I guess I wanted to post something, not really for you but for me.

Something for me to read later, maybe.

I’ve been here a year and as cliche as it is, it doesn’t feel like it. Time has flown by and now I’m looking at the tail end of my time here, wondering what my impact has been, if anything at all.

Of course, what I’m thinking about most is saying goodbye to the people here. I’m thinking about Lloyd and Anthea and their kids (my family) and how I feel about them. I know I love them and I’d do anything for them, but I don’t want them to leave without knowing that.
My parents came here last month and they met with all the people they knew twenty-five years ago and the relationships that they still have made me think about leaving here. It made me think about how I’ll still think and pray about Lloyd and Anthea in 25 years and how they’ll (hopefully) reciprocate that.

That’s just something I’ve been struggling with.

Another is being the first on the team to leave. Am I doing something I’ll regret? I’m going home to work and go to school and I don’t have anything here that I see myself doing after July, but I still hate the idea of going home.

The boys got an apartment today.

I was fine until Michael Horn caught me on Google. I almost never cry until someone asks how I’m doing.
So that’s where I am.

Please pray for me.
Today is Thursday, May 29th. I’m pretty inconsistent with updating this thing, so I might be better by the time you read this, but pray for me anyway.

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7 thoughts on “Hmm…

  1. Always…I love you Logan. I miss you. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t really find the words. There’s not really anyway to express how bad I want to hug you and cry on your shoulder and you cry on mine. I don’t know if that makes sense, but, yeah…I’m proud of you. Keep teaching and loving like Jesus. See you soon…

  2. I think everyone deals with leaving nearly the same way…it’s always just rough! But, why you’re crying is because you have put a lot into your time there…and that’s a good thing!!! My question is this, which you may have already thought of and weighed heavily: what is your true reason for leaving? how would it change things to stay a bit longer and leave with a teammember? Just wondering. Love you, bro…I really do! πŸ™‚

  3. I love you! Thanks for sharing this with us. Lloyd & Anthea WILL feel the same way – just you do better than we did with communication after you leave PE. Work hard to keep all those connections – even if it’s just once a year. These next few weeks will be really tough – but face ’em. Tell them what you feel, even if it’s through tears. That will say more than just your words. I love you and miss you. Hate that you are hurting like this, but I know it’s all part of the “adventure”. Just not the fun part. Mom

  4. Hi! This is old grandpa speaking. Leaving is never easy. we spent 7 years in Botswana and didn’t want to leave either. You have grown to love the people. That is the key to making a difference. When you love people and they know that, you have already made a change in their lives. Just your coming has been significant. It will be hard to leave. If you stayed longer, what would you do? Would it make a difference? There is always work to do and you never get everything done you hope to do. God may have another assignment that he wants you to take on right now. When we were pulled out of Botswana, I was sure it wasn’t the right time. However, God knew it was. The work in Botswana went right on and grew, the work Sunset wanted to do thrived and the work I took when I came home made a significant difference in the lives of many, many people. So, God may be leading you in a new direction.God bless;Grandpa

  5. You will be in our prayers! I hope you feel better. Keep praying about it. If something comes up significant, that you feel like you don’t need to leave yet, then don’t. But if not, go ahead with your plans and know that you can do great work wherever you are, as long as you allow God to work through you. Save up money to go back and visit. It is totally worth it…speaking from experience. Peace,Dougle and Lucy

  6. Logan, I still remember the day we left Slovakia. It was one of the hardest things that I had to do. I also have some good memories of my last month on the field. I tried my best to stay focused and love the people because of that I have good memories of the end of my time. I am glad that you feel the way you do about leaving, wouldn’t it be sad if you didn’t? Look on the bright side – we will get to see you when we are in Lubbock in July!! We will be there the last week in July. We love you and are very proud of you. ToniPs the good thing about nowadays is that so many people have computers. I remember in Slovakia no one had a computer so we didn’t really get to stay in contact once I left. Now because of Facebook etc I am in contact with Matus, Jery, Vicki, Eva, etc.

  7. Logan you have done amazing things over there in South Africa.. your influence has touched hearts that you may never see.. your have given up a year and a halfish πŸ™‚ to serve the God of this universe.. and He is using you. You have been used by the God of the universe who works in US for His glory.. keep loving Him and that light will shine into places only God can see

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